Winter Solstice 2006

Today was a special day of remembrance for a friend, Steve "Jungle" Ralph. He had suddenly passed away earlier in the year. A group of us had gotten his ashes and decided to spread them on what turned out to be a glorious day.

It's a mere short walk from the climber's car park to the summit of Stanege Edge, which is often teemed with climbers and walkers, though canny on this day, it was peaceful, quiet and just wonderful.

I think the photo says enough to describe the feelings of this special winter's solstice day to celebrate Steve's life and to coin someone's perfectively described words, "spiritually and positively a Himalayan day of remembrance".

From Dean Hill to Mad Woman's Stones

It's been 18 years since I tackled this particular hill on the approach to the Kinder plateau, though back then I was a fit young man of 20 years. It really shouldn't have surprised me that I was finding this walk a wee strenuous, but I did! After all, I am now 37 and have since changed my gender. So, there I was idling in my thoughts, as a woman on the hill, thinking I'm not quite the young man I used to be.

I recalled in early Winter 1988, when on my Diploma in Outdoor Education at college, I was set the task of leading our group on a walk. I chose to tackle Dean Hill. To any walk looking at it for the first time will see it a tall steep hill which is not easily tackled in one quick swoop. I had huge dreams of climbing Everest back then (and still do I might add!), and the steepness, challenge and physical appearance was something I wanted the group to take on board. Its size can be compared by the wall in the picture which is some 9 or 10ft high, and the barn in the centre of the picture is two storeys high.

The last time I tackled this hill it took about an hour to reach the trig point on the plateau; the comparison was that it took me about 2 and a half hours, including a 20 minute stop for lunch. I was shattered, my heart was pounding nineteen to the dozen, I had to stop many times and my body was just physically exhausted. I was ready to stop, several times over, and thought long and hard to pack in and go back to the car. I chose to continue as I wanted to beat this hill and show I had the mental strength to keep me going.

On the route I started to reflect long and hard about using a gym or saving money. To be honest, I have been meaning to get fit for some time, I want to lose at least two stone, I wanted to go to Mont Blanc and climb to the summit this summer, but I was just not ready, I'd love to get to Everest Base Camp, but whilst ever I'm in this unfit state and out of tune, I am never going to acheive that goal. A work colleague suggested recently that I borrow some books on Tai Chai Chuan and teach myself, and just go for a jog. This is all well and said, but I realise I need social stimulation, I need an environment that is encouraging and I need a variety of opportunities. I realise that if I am ever to get to Mont Blanc next Summer, then really I ought to be using the gym with its machines, tai chai classes and climbing wall; I have everything including the swimming and sauna which I would find extremely useful over the Winter months. I'm not going to get fit on my own, and I realise I need to be able to tackle Dean Hill just as I did as a 20 year old lad if I am ever to acheive those goals.

Reaching the trig point filled me with huge satisfaction especially given that I'd achieved a goal for today that I nearly didn't finish. It was wonderful to be on top and wonderful to look out and see the views. The weather was holding back well with intermittant light wind and some low cloud in the distance towards Fairbrook Naze, though nothing to grumble about.

I made a trek along the top to Mad Woman's stones. Around half way there was some other stones which appeared to be un named and were of more geological shape and interest than Mad Woman's, however, the view was much better.

To boldly go 'munro bagging' in Scotland's Highlands

To reach the summit of every munro in the Highlands is quite a feat to achieve and is not a goal for anyone to take on lightly. It can take years for even the hardiest of Munroists to achieve this feat. Perhaps I am being somewhat foolhardy in even thinking it is possible. However, there are only 284 to reach, and on any given weekend, it is possible to bag several munros in close succession, and on that basis I summise that it might take about 94 weekends to achieve give or take the odd ten weekends or so. One has to keep an open door and remain optimistic...

The Munros are those separate Scottish mountains over 3000 feet (914 meters) high, and the first list of these was compiled and published by Sir Hugh Munro in 1891. In the previous (1984) list there were 277 mountains recorded - this changed to 284 in August 1997 though I still only have the original 1984 edition.

I need a spiritual goal in my life, one that allows me to escape to the hills in my trusty Yaris, the second to camp wild and enjoy what the mountains have to offer, thirdly to enable me to prepare for any potential climb in the Alps or Himalaya, and finally, to make the remainder of my life worth living. I have always dreamed of, and have always wanted to climb Everest, since the day in 1975 when I took home a sponsor sheet from School for Chris Bonnington to climb this mountain, and certainly since the days I undertook my Diploma in Outdoor Education during the late 80's.

This is something I have to do, and sadly I am currently somewhat ill equipped given my current lack of fitness and stamina, the bodily changes as a result of hormones lashing my once male body and the fact I have nerve damage in my legs. It was only a few years ago after surgery that I was unable to walk for many months. The drug pregabalin has been fantastic in liberating my disability enabling me to become fitter and give back my mobility. Being able to walk is a precious and valuable thing, so one has to make the most of that.

The world is a beautiful place, and the Scottish Highlands provide a rare breed of beauty and dangerous challenge, one that shouldn't be taken lightly. My lonely walk the other day made me realise just how much I love the mountains and escape to the hills. I am inspired after loaning my munro book to a work colleague who recently went up Ben Nevis, to find she couldn't make it due to fog and inclement weather - she is in her 50's and I am only 37. There's a lesson here in that there's no reason why I shouldn't do it, and no reason why I should deny myself the enjoyment and potential that being a 'munro bagger' could have in enriching my life. One step forward as they say...

A loner's walk along Moscar to Stanage Edge

It was barely three in the afternoon and I felt my weekend was quickly passing by. I truly wanted to go camping last night and was waiting for a text message from my university friend, Karen, hoping that she would be free from her prior arrangment. This just wasn't to be, and I didn't want to disturb her. But, it's no fun doing something on your own and so I succumbed to the usual insular and defeated retreat at home, even though I knew this was no good for me.

I'd had a good morning in any case, checking my emails, refitting the ikea mirror onto the bathroom wall where the plastering had broken, and doing a really cheap weekly shop at Nettos and Waitrose, just consisting of vegetables and non processed foods. I made sure I was stocked up with risotto rice, Scott's porridge and stock. For the past few months I've been idly tinkering on developing an ayurevedic lifestyle and the foods I now buy is the outcomes of that lifestyle choice.

This is proving successful in that I regularly use a herbal garden which I'm developing on my balcony, and there's hardly anything in my cupboards which is processed or refined. I am now cooking fresh meals using staple ingredients, and psychologically it's doing wonders for me. All that remains for me to to start developing and maintaining an exercise regime, but it's got to be a regime which interests and inspires me to keep lean and fit.

Well, the regime I am planning of consists of regular camping (even in Winter), plenty of country walks, and a much more intense schedule of outdoor activities. The problem as mentioned earlier is that none of this is fun on your own. So, it was three pm, and for my own mind's sake I just had to get out as there was no way I could face a week of work without having gained any spiritual food from enjoying the peak's pleasures.

I left Heeley at ten past three and arrived at the Moscar Lodge car park by about half past. I was encouraged that it took just twenty minutes to get here. The familiar sight of Derbyshire's Nipple was in view - I call it the nipple as this is what is seems to look like from Moscar, but to everyone else it's Win Hill - a very beautiful walk resulting in a lunch at the summit can be had there. The view just sweeps down onto Ladybower and well worth experiencing.

I set off across the gate and was immediately feeling spiritually enthralled and so glad I chose to get out here. My feet ran ahead of me whilst my mind was wandering somewhere across the peaks, and somewhere in between my heart was happily pounding and my flabby belly was wobbling in tow. I remembered how when I was 19 years old I was at college on an outdoor education course at Shirecliffe College in Sheffield, and those were the hills I trudged with college friends to gain our diplomas to become outdoor instructors. And now I'm 37, some 18 years later, and how I often wish for those days again.

I really enjoyed those carefree years, just being free and enjoying the hills. I kept thinking that life could be the same, and all I needed was to continue with my diet, get fitter and just simply get out more. Having my job makes a difference, and I look forward to reaching my professional bar to increase that income. This time next year I dreamed, I could be climbing Mont Blanc. A dream would be realised if I could do that. Didn't I plan this goal last year? I realised it was time to do something about it, as I know life will just pass me by and I really don't want to let that happen, I know I don't. I realised that at 37 I've another 28 years before I retire at 65. Seems so far away and yet I know the years will pass so very quickly if I don't sort myself out.

None the less, it was just fantastic to get out and enjoy the views. The clouds were calm and barely a wind. There was some climbers along the edge though not many as this is a quiet place to enjoy. I was just for the moment thinking how great it was to be out alone amongst the hills, only to be greeted by the sight of four walkers in the distance. Typical..! Five minutes later and they had passed, and I sat down for ten minutes to enjoy my fruit, the views and to chill. Two hours isn't long when a whole day would have been good, but it certainly suffices in breaking up the weekend and preparing for the week ahead. At last, I felt I had done something this weekend, achieved an outlet, albeit little, it was something. Surely enough to inspire me to plan for next weekend's activity.